my heart is breaking

[kermitdfrog]

Well, my husband came last weekend and took me out to dinner. We had a really nice time, as usual, and he even suggested taking a walk when he took me back home. We did, and it was so nice. We did that a lot in the past. When it was time for him to leave, we hugged and kissed, and I asked if he really needed to go right then, and he kind of got defensive and said "yes, I want to go" I really think he thought I was going to seduce him again and he had gotten himself prepared for it. But I just said "ok" and let him go. Later he called to give me an update on his mom, and said "I had a really good time tonight" so I felt good about that.

The kids had their intervention the other night. They said it went the best it could have possibly gone. They even typed up a proposal stating what they would like him to do. (put the divorce on hold, continue to stay at his mom's for the time being so that he can focus on work, but try to have positive time with me, and them, in hopes of eventual reconciliation) They gave all kinds of benefits to this, etc. They did this because he writes a ton of proposals for clients, so they looked at it as speaking his language. They said he seemed to like it. They both also gave him a heartfelt talk about how this has affected them. D said it was a tearjerker when S talked, and he really is struggling and needs his dad. D said he seemed touched. They said they wanted to hear his feelings, and he mostly said what he has been saying. That he felt controlled and didn't feel like a man in the marriage. And that he is following his gut. D said "Couldn't your gut be wrong?" and he said "Yes, I guess it could" She also said that he said he loved me. He did not want to sign their proposal right then, but took it with him. He assured them that it didn't mean the answer is no. They felt fairly good about the night.

So I was feeling halfway hopeful and then he called to discuss some of the papers he needed for the D. Talk about bursting my bubble. But I still am choosing to hope and continue my DB efforts.

One of the things I hate is that several family members of his are in town for a wedding reception for his nephew (who was our ringbearer in our wedding) and I am not going. I was invited but don't feel comfortable since I am no longer really his "wife" plus the nephew's mom is my H's cheerleader regarding the divorce so I am not wanting to be around her. So I offered to sit with his mom at the hospital (she is not doing well, so is not able to be at the reception) and he seemed to appreciate that. But I am just feeling so left out. These people have been family to me for almost 30 years. How can my H just suddenly be without me? The other issue is that we need to have our financial papers in on Tuesday and he hasn't given me the ones from him. If his mom hadn't taken a turn for the worse, I assume we would have gotten together some time this weekend to do that. But I don't want to bring it up since his mom is really ill right now and possibly near death. And he is dealing with that and his job and so much stress. All the more reason to put this stupid divorce on hold. But I don't quite know how to handle it. God works in mysterious ways, and it would be great if he would decide to delay the divorce because of all of this. But if he doesn't. we still have the deadline for the papers. Do I bring it up or will he feel bugged? But if he doesn't remember on his own and we miss the deadline (which includes my answer) I am in default. Don't want that. So what should I do? Any ideas?