Oh yah I know what I'm doing when it comes to a forklift!
It took me a little bit to actually come to terms with what you were saying but I got it now
I understand what your saying. I feel in my apology I covered the the things I know that I did wrong and there is no reason to go backtracking on what has already been said.
Actually I haven't ever really thought about codependency. You are right though when I read that it was absolutely something I could identify with!
Since she left I have felt like something is missing. I'm doing a lot better as far as being by myself in the apartment but I do often times find myself worrying if she is okay. I gave so much to my wife and keeping her going that now that she's not here I don't really know what to do. Maybe part of that is because during the time we was together I focused more on her than on myself and gave up a lot of things to help her.
When I first met my wife she was a habitual cutter,horrid self esteem and to say she was shy would be an understatement. Since we've been together she has come out of her shell a lot and hasn't cut in about 2 yeas now. Her self esteem is still pretty bad but she is a little more confident in herself. I've watched her grow and have been her rock more or less in every obstacle she has faced. I've always been able to keep her just close enough that when she starts to fall I can catch her. It hurts me to think of her potentially failing or backsliding into her old habits.
I guess your right though. It makes sense that I need to stop nurturing her and just let her go and thrive on her own. Just be here to catch her if she starts to fall. Same time she needs to fall a little just to see if she can catch herself. She doesn't know anymore what life is like without me. That may actually be something she needs to experience to grow a little bit more as a person. It's easy to say and doing is a different thing but it is something I need to let her do and step back as hard as it is. Maybe that's why the LRT has been a hard concept for me to understand?
The new roommates are a bf and gf couple. her brother works with the guy and the girlfriend doesn't work she just cleans the house. They haven't moved in yet though her brother wants to make sure the landlord will let them stay.
Since she left I've been mainly watching shows I like...comedies and thrillers. I love thrillers!
You are right about that. I am very sensitive to other people's feelings. Usually when people come to me with their problems I'm very sympathetic and almost feel the pain their feeling. I think over the years I have lost a lot of what was me and what was me I don't know how to get back.