W emailed asking if I was available Wed. morning because there was a conflict with the kids' schedules (she is notorious for overbooking)I asked if the conflict was for the evening which is when I was suppose to see them and wanted me to come in the morning instead? Told her I could see them Thurs. after dinner if that were the case.
My suspicions were correct, in that she overbooked. I pride myself on be a very involved dad, however, w is used to having me "around" for things like these and since the bomb, the in-laws have been living with her for support...or enabling. The in-laws are out of town for the week helping habitat for humanity--hypocrits; one end, encouraging daughter's divorce, while helping be good samaritans to strangers for habitat.
My point, it is probably a good thing for me to be dark with her need Wed. Hey, I'm booked and she needs to get use to being that single mother of four that she so desires right now when. I'm working Wednesday morning and am kind of happy to be unavailable for her, not the kids. Is this wrong?
I'm working Wednesday morning and am kind of happy to be unavailable for her, not the kids. Is this wrong?
If you're asking if it's wrong to feel happy that you can give her an excuse for being unavailable......no, it's not wrong to feel that way. If you are asking if it's wrong to be unavailable Wed morning.....no, it's not. But even if you did not have a legit excuse, you should not feel bad about telling her you're unavailable. She may try to impose a sense of "responsibility", but as you said, she will have to discover the bad side to these decisions.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
OK, here's an email from wife. Only really contacts me about money or kids, but struggle at times when to reply. I've been very good with the going dark for me ans w has been the only one to initiate contact over the last to weeks. Here's the latest: From w- Hope you're having a good week. Some items to inform/some to discuss more later...
D's safety town graduation is Friday at 10:30, not 10:00. Use back door of the middle school and it's in the gym. There was a typo in their initial communication that was corrected today.
Cell phone: I'm switching providers in august. I went to AT&T for help with my service in the house and they can't do anything. In the meantime, if you want to remain on my plan until then you can give me $70 sometime next week for your half. Also, I added texting to the plan (including your line) so you can give that a test drive and see if you like it now until august.
Old landlord noticed the damage to the garage ceiling drywall and would like it repaired. Will you help with this cost? It's the spot where you stepped through while walking in the attic.
Finally, 4th of July. Do you have any requests for the kids? I'd like to start making plans but wanted to talk to you first. Since we leave on the 6th for vacation I wanted you to have first choice for the holiday.
Ok, that's all for now. Have a good night.
Any suggestions or just ignore and verbalize a reply when I see the kids tomorrow?
Wife dropped off kids this evening for a few hours. Could of picked them up but told her I would be back at 6:30 from across town and it would be cutting it close so asked her to..she did.
I was dressed in suit attire (180)use to wear a shirt.suit, and tie early in our marriage when being the PR guy for a medical center. I know she use to love when I was that "sharp-dressed man." But this was for me and I felt good and looked good, da^* it! W said, "You look nice." And looked me up & down. You're darn right I do:) Self-respect.
She emailed me earlier about our cell phone bill which we now split..among other things. Didn't reply to the email, just handed her a check and said I'll have the kids back at 9:00. Dropped them off (which kills me) helped get them in the door hugged my dog (huge black lab)who loves me dearly and miss him too. Then scurried off pulling away in car and wife said/shouted "have a good night." Have to stay dim.
Went to D's safety town graduation. Proud daddy! W showed with our other three children all swormed me, which I love and w was cordial but sat behind me/kids. Never sits next to me. S sat on my lap then decided to climb all over the bleachers and eventually on the gym floor to entertain...yep, had to be my kid, hilarious.
Afterward, went outside to see the kids' set up and play. I received a phone call, hugged the kids, and told w I had to go and have a nice day. Perfect timing getting a call..I didn't really have to go but want to stick to leavng first.
GAL tonight. Relative's b-day party, then meeting others for drinks. Tomorrow, my cousin asked me to "fill in" as her date for a wedding. My mom's family has been great..mom passed away in '04 at only 58 of a sudden brain anyeurism. She was my biggest influence and know she is working through me, now. Still wish she was here in person to talk to...and talk sense into W. They had a wonderful relationship. Mom was everything my MIL is not!
Wedding band. Been thinking of removing (painful)...this is huge for me. It is GAL and for me not as a reaction to W--who removed hers over a week ago. Want to stay dim..because of kids but need to do a BIG 180 for me, and secondarily--for her to notice..but who cares. Thoughts?
I've had inquiries about my "availability" from others. Even with my ring on, word travels, I suppose. Noticing a lot more attention from women--must be the PMA or my dashing looks:) Just weird, you know? Been with W since '98. Even today at D event, saw women whispering and then glance over and give a thumbs up. I pretended not to notice, wow..is this a sign of things to come? I want my marriage back and not seeing the kids daily is brutal.
So confused. I feel if I take someone up on an offer it will close the door for good on our marriage, but then again, with w ring off sends signals that she's on the market. Sooo not like her. This imposter who now resides in her, anything is possible.
Tough morning thinking about w. At times I feel she's gone dark on me and maybe she has. Nedd to keep it up for me. Roller coaster, man. Although I feel much better since GALing, thoughts do creep back in like most of us here can relate to.
Very hard communicating with this imposter who has invaded my once, extremely, devoted, loving and GIVING W. She thinks this is the real her now, but it isnt't--but is now! And I do not like it. She has to go on her path and me on mine. Need perseverance and courage to move ahead every day. Why wait I keep telling myself.
