Congrats on passing your test! You didn't sweat it b/c you were self-confident in your knowledge and skills, right? Hopefully, you will begin to have that confidence in your personal relationships, especially your M.

Please understand that I wasn't trying to make you feel badly about apologizing to your W. I'm not saying you were wrong to do that. I was trying to explain that that doesn't fix the problem with a WAW.

So, start from that point and don't feel that you have to continue apologizing for something you've already said you were sorry about. Does that make sense? And, if she ever tries to bring up something you did wrong, remind her you've already apologized and you can't go back and change the past.

Have you read any material on codependency? I believe you can obtain quite a bit of free information on line. When I read about your R with W, it reminds me of a person who is a caregiver. In a MR or a parent-child R, it can easily happen if one of the persons is ill.

I can identify with a little of that. My child has a chronic disease and I felt that I had to be the responsible adult to make sure she did everything her doctor said. When she grew up and left home.....it was difficult to not "remind" her that she had to take care of herself, yada, yada. Bottom like was that it was her turn to be the responsible adult with her disease.

I experienced something kind of like a void, b/c so much of "me" was linked or centered around her health. It almost becomes second nature.

I wonder if you may be feeling something like that. You've had to be the responsible adult in the MR. When she lost her parents, you had to be her strength and emotionally nurse her through that bad time. You have had a lot put on your shoulders. Now, it's hard to lay the burden down b/c you still feel responsible for her.

As I told you before, I don't pretend to know very much about BP. I know of some cases where it was bad. So I'm not telling you to turn your back on her, okay? But there are some things you can handle a bit differently.

I believe she will go back to you, but you've got to kind of stay in the background and remain calm. Be the strong, silent type! cool You probably know her better than anyone else, so you'll see signs if it's time to step in and get her emergency medical help. It seems her brother isn't paying much attention to anything but his problems. Do you know if his new roommates are male or female....or both?

I hope you will read things that are inspiring. Watch movies that are comical....not sad. I know one lady who chose to watch nothing but Disney until her stress let up.

We can't help others when we are down for the count ourselves. I think you are very sensitive to other's feelings. When others hurt, you give a part of yourself trying to be there for them. Am I right or wrong?

You have a lot on your plate. I suggest that you make a daily goal of just taking what that day offers, and if it is too much stressful emotional stuff that is going to totally drain you, then purposely choose to not deal with it that day. Some things we can't ignore, but some things we can choose to not take on as a burden that day. I think you realized that when your friend sent that text.

I don't want another person reading this post think I'm telling people to run away from responsibilities, b/c that isn't what I mean. This is just for you, while you get adjusted to a new job, a new living arrangement, and being there for your parents.

Got to stop this long post!

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!