Denver - Once again, your words astound me. I needed that post. I have been so angry with STBX recently that I almost forgot that I love and loved her. She has chosen to be with OM/Boss and there is truly nothing I can do to change that. I can't force her to stop what she feels she needs in her life. I simply need to respect her needs and desires. That doesn't mean I need to agree with them or condone them. It also doesn't mean I need to be the door mat I have been in the past. If she ever chooses me in the future, then I will deal with that at that time. Right now though, she does not choose me.
I'm not sure I am conveying my thoughts all that well. But 2 years after returning, something "clicked" in my brain when I read your post. Something I had been missing and so many (I think) tried to get me to understand.
