Hoping not to be a WAW

[Queen_of_Swords]

Dear Herb,

In addition to Brian's suggestions I will share what I have learned.

Pay attention to the physical signs of your anger rising.
The heat in your ears, the balling of your hands, the increased respiration, the flushed feeling from your neck/face.
If that begins to happen:
Give yourself a TIME OUT.
Excuse yourself, tell the person " I am getting angry, I need time to think clearly.
Recognise your anger- what is really going on, what caused you to react?
Identify how you feel. "What is it I'm really feeling?"
Check your perceptions: " Maybe I misunderstood."
After you do all this, go back and discuss using "I" statements.
( I heard you say...., so I began to feel,....and reacted by....)

If a list of words of common feelings helps you identify things better, make that list, but remember, anger is not one of those feelings. It's what is underneath that anger you need to express.

Hope this helps you.