74 Days - Who Knows?

[Denver_2010]

and this "infidelity" and "deceit" commentary is a bit off target here anyhow.

Denver admits

that there no agreement or clear boundary setting for the separation

But they were absolutely separated

so let's not lump and equate every adulterer into the same pile.

It's not as if she was pretending all was well, in a happy intact family and THEN had an affair. Her perception does matter.

This is all true. I suppose it depends on your view of things. Some people believe it is perfectly acceptable to 'date' during a separation, while others do not.

My W and I had never discussed it when we first separated bc, well, she was completely DONE with me and was not speaking to me.

The most recent deal with OM on the toilet, is a bit fuzzy too. She did tell me that she was not ready to work on the M, that she had started having contact with OM again, that she needed time and space to figure things out...

but she did say that she didn't want to date anyone...

She denies saying that... but she did.

And then I found OM on her toilet like a scared and beaten dog...

Either way... not the boundary is clear... and W has agreed to it... in fact, has said that she needs it too.

So the question on whether or not her actions are infidelity, an affair, or whatever... well, I guess it is in the eye of the beholder.

For me, it really doesn't matter how it is defined any longer.

It happened... and I, we, have to deal with it.