74 Days - Who Knows?

[Denver_2010]

Not taking sides here Starsky, but Cat is correct. The toilet event happened on June 1st, the W and I had our long conversation in which we agreed that she would take June to just be by herself on June 3rd.

I have lots of responses to all of the posts that my thread got yesterday, and also have an update... but it will have to wait because I am slammed with work for the next couple of days!

Denver

gr8 - W is not in contact with OM right now. My W is a professional vocalist with an entertainment company and a few different bands. OM is a horn player whom she works with on occasion. They were both at a recording session about a week and a half ago, and OM apparently was trying to avoid W. W felt badly about the situation, said that she felt horrible about hurting OM.

I agree. W is confused right now.

Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate it.

Denver

There are other posts I could pull, but my only point was this:

While some of us would have preferred for you to state your boundaries more clearly, there's absolutely no doubt from my point of view that "the spirit of the law" was that your wife was to use this "space" time, ALONE, without OM influencing her, and that furthermore, she led you to believe she was doing this.

The only point I was trying to make was not to feel so apologetic about needing transparency from her, when there was a recent history of:

a. infidelity, and

b. deceit.

If anyone thinks this OM was just checking out Denver's wife's commode plumbing, or thinks that his wife has been honest and trustworthy through all of this, well I guess you've just been reading different threads than I have.
Starsky

Your point is well taken Starsky. Things began to fall apart shortly after that post on 4/11 though. W told me that she was struggling with unresolved feelings for OM, that she had started having contact with him again... she told me that she was inviting him over for dinner on May 1st... where she was a bit dishonest was when she told me that she needed time and space, and that she wasn't 'dating' anyone. That was right around May 10th. But she was very clear to me that she wasn't ready to work on our M.

So then the toilet incident happens on June 1st. I say that I am done bc I can't deal with the pain anymore, go dark on her for 2 days, she texts me multiple times, and calls my cell phone 34 x within 20 minutes, cancels my cell phone... I go to her house... reiterate that I am done if OM in in her life... she says that he is no longer, that she has to end it, that she has no intention of dating anyone and will let me know if that changes... I set out my boundary very, very clearly to her... we agree to her taking June to be by herself...

That is the cliffnote version of the timeline...

Denver