4 months........

[paige40]

How are you feeling DG?? Any better? I am sorry you are hurting so bad. Make some fun plans for the weekend with a friend

[2stepboogie]

I don't want the foundation of anything in my life to be built out of fear.

This is very good. Acting out of fear is paralyzing and once you decide to let go it is actually freeing!! I caution you or anyone else to let go prematurely, as 25 said awhile ago. “it is better to hang on too long that to give up to quickly” something along those lines. My anniversary came and went. I worked all day came home and chatted with friends. You woke up to a text I got one at 11:30 at night. What I mean is that you have to let go or the M while not giving up hope. Make sense? For the time being stay busy today and do something you have NEVER done! That would be fun!

I deserve more, and so do they.

Yes. You both deserve the best version of you and the best life possible. If it is with you, Great! If not, Great! There is a fine line between saying “screw it I deserve so much more” that has the potential to lead you into anger in which case you will become resentful. It is another thing to say “R over I love him he can live his life and I will live mine.” This will allow you to just worry about yourself and not allow his actions or inactions to affect you. I know it is tough. The one thing I am most proud of is how I handled myself. If I would have not done it this way I guilt and shame would have consumed me.

actually far from it but I see that text differently. I see that in some way he still reached out to you on your anniversary together.

^^^^^^^I agree with this. Men are such simple creatures. You know, when we were kids we would pull on a girls hair just because we liked them. Of course most times the girls had no idea we actually liked them, to us boys well it is just guy code. I can’t say we have evolved all that much since grammar school we might not pull your hair but we do send silly text.

DG
Chin up!! YOU will never regret going through this.

[Redo]

DG, sorry you are hurting. Milestone days like these can hurt.

The way i am dealing with these things. I told myself that i'll consider this year in my life as a 'no count'. Means that anything that happens in this year, I'll flush it down my memory lane.
Who knows, next year maybe better. Then rather than dwelling on all the bad stuff that happened this year, I can enjoy what good i'd have going then.

[~¤DG¤~]

I want to give an (((E hug))) to all of you.
Your words are so comforting. I often refer back to them when I am feeling down.

Karma- I like your "no count" decision. I might have to apply that to my sitch as well.

For me, my M isn't over. I don't want it to be, and I think if I am ever ready for it to be over, then I'll know.
I'm so sick of all the conflicting advice from people in my life.
Everyone has good intentions but it hinders more than it helps.
That's why I spend the most of my venting, journaling, etc. On this board. You all get me.

[~¤DG¤~]

Today turned out to be a much better day than I had anticipated.

I envisioned a day of inconsolable tears, weeping endlessly, and moping about.
That wasn't the case. I was by no means jumping for joy, and I did feel sad, but I didn't feel hopeless. I think a lot of it has to do with the support I got on here. Thank you for that.

[jbnati]

Glad to hear it, DG.

[Telemark]

And you got through it with your self-esteem and sanity intact. I'd say it was a good day.

[2stepboogie]

well done

[paige40]

Good job!! You can't listen to the people in your life telling you to give up on your marriage. I know in my situation my friends don't want to see me hurting and think if we split up, my h is still at home, I will move on and be happy. I have stopped talking about my sitch in real life. They mean well but that isn't what you are ready to do. Keep your chin up!

[~¤DG¤~]

Today was a good day. I think I just needed to get that first milestone apart under my belt.
I don't think I'll have a day where I won't think about my H or miss him, but at least he doesn't consume my mind all the time.