Healing Minor Injuries

[Concerned_Listener]

This was a key opportunity to take lemons and make vodka lemonades out of them.

This may be code yet again for her being pissed at something but not having the guts to really speak up about what is bothering her...or like my wife, she will pick at something until you figure out what is really bothering her. .

You might point out that you would be willing to try to work with her but she needs to tell you about these types of things in advance. You also need to tell her that sometimes you can work things out for her, sometimes you might not. Sometimes she will have to tough it out. This is what couples do for each other.

Now all that said, I think she is trying to tell you something...this reads that she may be disapointed that you were not more assertive and/or manly in the handling of the accident.

This seems like traditional "man work". I also think she was traumatized and this is her way, perhaps of venting. My wife does stuff like this too.

Being more assertive (not controlling but assertive) does seem like something you could use work on. Food for thought

DNO,
She took off like a jackrabbit when it came to calling the insurance companies. She is impatient and it has to be handled NOW. I could have wrestled the ball from her, but she would have not given up control, and let me handle it in my own way. The dynamic exists for reasons beyond a lack of assertiveness on my part. I would have been happy to make phone calls. I'll admit that I was remiss in offering my assistance, to see if she wanted to shift responsibillity to me.

When she was telling me about her disappointment about my failure for being a stronger advocate with my parents, I countered that I didn't see other options to advocate for. It was a situation she was going to have to adapt to. It was a situation I was not looking forward to.

I've been checking on the value of her car for her, cleaned out the car yesterday, and will speak to an attorney today. I noticed her sister called, so I'll return her call to save my W the time. I slept in the main bedroom last night, without asking.
CL