The show goes on

[braveheart]

RNP, I would like to suggest that you detach a bit more. Your H is spending time with you right now to make sure he has you close, this is a very typical MLC game. Next time you are scheduled to do something together, consider canceling it. I know it might be tough for you to do, but get his mind working about what YOU are doing.

[RedNailPolish]

Update:

H called tonite to organise the movie on Sunday. Keen isn't he. We talked for 20mins about work and the gym etc. So nice to be able to talk to him again. 

Just as I was getting S3 for bed H texts to tell me the time the movie will be on. We exchange a few flirty messages and then he sends the following text:

H: I hope that we work this out Red, like you wrote in your letter
Me: Is that what you want?
H: Yes. I think that getting to know each other again whilst giving each other space is good?
Me: I like the getting to know each other idea. I couldn't however, consider being with you if you are still with another person 
H: I understand that. I am presently extracating myself from a difficult situation and this is the main reason I am leaving X (current work place)
Me: I understand. And I'm glad you read my letter. I meant what I said
H: Hopefully time will heal us. I just pray that by the time I have sorted out my shyte Johny (personal trainer at gym) hasn't snapped you up
Me: Johny is the least of your problems . I trust you'll get your shyte sorted. I've never lost faith in you. 


Sorry guys but I'm doing a little happy dance. I know I'm not supposed to but I can't help it. Its been an effen hard 3 months! And I realise pls believe me I do, that this is not over. He is still with OW. But I have been DBing my little tushy off so this baby step forward feels so good!

[notsosunny]

Good morning Red,

Talk is good, just do a shuffle....not a full dance please.

Remember the hard work is yet to come...Review and reread the DR book. Actions always speak louder than words.
Wishing you the best

Sunny

[Lorie1964]

Red,

I am wishing you the best too, but be caution and remember what sunny says, actions speak louder than words. It is looking good for you two!

[RedNailPolish]

Thank you guys!

Im not changing what Im doing. Im giving H space. I wont initiate or pursue. Ill continue to GAL - going out this Sat night infact. Playing with S3 tomorrow morning, then spending an hour with S3 & H at the park in the afternoon. Sunday I will be at the gym followed by moviews with S3 & H. Cant wait for the weekend! woohoo

I really hope H has the courage and strenght to end it with OW.

[braveheart]

RNP, I don't mean to seem negative, but i

[braveheart]

RNP, I don't mean to seem negative, but I have seen this a million times on here. Don't go whole hog into what he is saying, keep your distance, make him wonder about you. If you caught his statement about Johny, its crossing his mind about you going with someone else.... Let him think about it awhile, don't tell him he has nothing to worry about. Let him worry a bit, please!

[RedNailPolish]

I completely effed up!

Whilst at the park H got all teary. I asked him what was wrong. After a while he said he missed his family. I said we missed him too. Anyway we got talking a bit. And I asked whether he wanted to talk some more. So we went back to his place. And things went from bad to worse.

After S3 went to bed I started a R talk. I just wouldn't shut up. I kept pushing. I kept asking. I wouldn't stop. I told him I knew everything. And that he needed to make a decision. I royally effed up!

Here is what I remember of what H said:
- he wanted to work on us
- he didn't want to hurt OW
- he cared about OW alot
- he couldn't end it with her but hoped it would fizzle out and she would loose interest in him. Just cant hurt her
- he was unhappy with everything
- he is confused with everything and changed his mind daily
- he has no interest in anything including work or the gym
- he doesn't think he can ever forgive himself. Ever
- he was with OW because he wanted to help her. He wanted to save her.
- he said if she didn't need him the way she does he probably would never have gotten involved with her. But he can't leave her now. He's afraid of what shell do
- he said he is jealous of my independence. He has none and has to account for every time he is not with her. He said this drives him mad
- he acknowledged he was depressed
- he said he was confused because he felt when we were all together we fitted as a family and this made him happy. But he also liked being alone. And he also enjoyed being with OW


I left his place after an hour. It was aweful. OW stuff was everywhere even

I told him that I couldn't see him any longer. That there would be no more family dinners/outings. Infact we couldn't be friends. I said he had hurt me and he was continuing to do so by choosing OW over me and his family.

though he tried to conceal it. I am so hurt.

After I left he sent the following text:
I'm really sorry Red. I don't know anything at the moment. I am so confused. I didn't need to be pushed for an answer because I am not in position to answer anything at present.

[RedNailPolish]

Woops not sure what happened but the sentence was meant to read:
OW stuff was everywhere even though he tried to hide it

Now I have to go dark. Not dim but dark.

[RedNailPolish]

I can't sleep. I just feel stupid. All that good DBing and at the first opportunity I screw it up. I feel like im back where I started. I really hurt tonight