4 months........

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling----

Today is our anniversary.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I really feel so broken inside.

I was reading 2step's post, and it opened my eyes to a lot of things.

It was the quote from sad_but_happy that made me realize I have been operating out of fear. I don't want the foundation of anything in my life to be built out of fear.
I feel like I've put up with a lot of things these past 4 months because I've been so terrified of rocking the boat. I have been so scared of D that I have given him permission to treat me and my kids like he has.
He hasn't been cruel, but he hasn't been present.
I deserve more, and so do they.

I woke up to a text this morning:

"I'm not ignoring you. I just don't have anything to say. I told you how I felt and that i'm tired of hurting and also hurting you. Im sick of feeling this way inside. And I just don't know what else to do or say. Im just broken and I dont know if im fixable."

If this is how he feels, then it's how he feels.
Nothing I can do about it. All I can do is try to make myself stronger.

It may take a while, but I'll get there.