H in crisis and self medicating with OW

[25yearsmlc]

have you tried Retrovaille? It's a weekend retreat for marriages that are facing challenges. It also has several follow up sessions. It includes a novel way to learn to hear your partner's viewpoint without getting angry. That's priceless.
The host couples (usually 3-4 pairs) have gone through hell and back and are content in their m's and well worth hearing.


The follow up sessions are optional, monthly or maybe every 6 weeks so they're very manageable.

The weekend itself is a life changer for many couples. We were piecing back together, adjusting to life as an intact family, for a year and we sort of hit a wall. Some old patterns were re-emerging that scared me.

We Looked up Retrovaille and learned that it was on our anniversary & they were hosting it in our city for its' sole annual turn.... Wow...geez

[b] We decided that the universe doesn't get much clearer than that so we signed on. Thank goodness b/c it really gave us a kick in the pants in good ways.
[/b]
Anyhow, it was Retrovaille's weekend that made me believe we were 'making it" and had gotten through the worst, and still had some sparks left after all.


even though I say "never say never", and "marriage is always a work in progress"


Retrovaille made me feel as if we finally had closure on our crisis of +2 years.


I highly recommend it.


sounds as if you are in piecing and in some ways are a bit stuck. Or he is.


And you probably realize by now, leaving him alone to work it out, can mean ignoring a serious problem. It's a dilemma for you. On one hand he wants/needs space to own his personal problems, which is healthy of him and you.


OTOH, if HE doesn't own it or face it or work through it, you suffer too.
Fine line....

which is why I recommend a "joint" activity, a couple's weekend or retreat so it's not all "his fault", AND so YOU can feel like YOU have a bit of control in your r.

(You both will).
Good luck