The show goes on

[Albuquerque]

Although H told me it's over and told OW that he planned to get divorced (and he meant it), he would have panic attacks anytime he'd look at the divorce paperwork he printed out. I guess eventually, that started freaking out the OW. Plus, even though he had cut it off with her in November, he had to work with her in January. He allowed D and I to stay in his hotel room since it was in another town. When x-OW found out I was staying with him in his room (even though he had tried to cut it off with her) she totally freaked out again. That truly surprised me but as I soon learned (as did H) he did a poor job of cutting it off and she kept thinking he'd eventually come back to her.

If maintaining your patience is excruciating, then you're doing it wrong. It's not really patience. It's you ACTING as if you're patient. That's not the same thing. You need to look deeper within yourself and find that patience within. It's not an easy process but it can be done. What is preventing you from truly being calm and patient? Only you can answer that. That's not to say that even then, you can't have a break down. But it becomes much easier to deal with the day to day crap the LBS has to deal with once you have found that inner peace.

Not believing your H is very hard. But it was a mantra I told myself all the time. Believe NONE of what they say and only 50% of what they do. Most of the time, the mantra holds true. It's clear your H has no friggin' idea what he's doing. He's got his OW but he can't seem to completely let you go. And not to give you the wrong impression, but my H didn't text, email me ALL the time either. Especially when he was with x-OW, it was very infrequent. But when he did, it was unimportant "fun" stuff that he didn't HAVE to do but seemed to have a need to maintain some sort of contact. I always responded, but not always immediately. Each H is an individual and there is no one "right" way to do things. I know that had I gone NC with my H, it would have turned out quite differently. Sounds like your husband is similar. But I totally agree with you. No monkey business while he's still with his OW.