Dark Side of the Moon

[LearningPatience]

Feeling a little down this evening. Been sick, so I've been cooped up in this tiny apartment. Felt good enough to go out tonight, but most of my friends are doing an activity that OM and W are at, so I'm by myself. Still not feeling well enough to go on a run, but I did walk the run distance I need for training.

I pushed myself to get out of the apt this evening. Ate dinner at local bar/burger place. Good food and beer, but looking around I realize I really long for companionship. That's how I'm built and/or been raised. I'm fine doing things by myself and for myself, but it's never really the same. I've done several cross country trips alone, so I'm used to the solitude, but it just isn't the same without someone to share it with.

Thought I've had now for a couple of weeks: last anniversary (4th in Oct) W and I went to Key West. We'd planned it before separating but still went and had a great time. For the fifth, I've considered (sorry 25) going to Alaska alone, as it's the complete opposite end of the US, and the only state I haven't been to. It feels both exciting and sad to plan this out.

I really have mixed feelings about the upcoming concert W and I are going to on Sunday. I'm glad she's coming with me, but I also wish we'd just have a clean break for closure.

Honestly, I don't know what I want right now. Sigh...