Had a fantastic yoga class tonight - I am really glad I'm doing it .. I am being put into positions I didn't realize my body could get into, and its really wonderful. my mind is probably 85-90% focused when I'm in there. That is such a difference from the usual way things are during the day. I really like the pace of the class and the teacher is just phenomenal. It is also good to be around new people and recognize that if things don't work out, there are lots of other people in the world who would be very happy to get to know me and might even appreciate me for who I am.
Got almost everything checked off my list for today in terms of to-do's. Guess that means its time to add more to the list. I really feel better when I've got a good amount going on. Just wish that most of it didn't cost money - its forcing me to confront that demon more than I'd prefer to right now. Oh well - I will get through it and be better off for it.
When i responded to W e-mail this morning, I told her that she didn't need to apologize for calling me, and that she didn't have to limit her communication with me for my sake. In a way I mean this - I think communication is the essence of what makes a relationship work. But at the same time - going dark - possibly even LRT has been healthy for me, and I am finding myself getting more and more detached from this situation. I know I'm not completely detached but I can definitely feel that i am reacting less intensely to things.
W responded telling me "well I am glad that you are ok with communicating" - my first instinct is to take this as sarcasm, but then I recognize that she tends to run away from people when she thinks they are mad at her, so maybe she is sincere. I don't know - maybe its not important that I do know.
She ended her e-mail w/ "Hope you are well, W". I imagine this is just more of the 'well we can still be friends" things, but I don't know. Again - maybe I shouldn't give it too much thought.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
