74 Days - Who Knows?

[Denver_2010]

Instead of telling her something that isn't true. Thank her for understanding.

You don't trust her right now...despite your desire too, and saying so doesn't make it true.

You are right. And I should have thanked her for understanding rather than pretending that I do trust her completely.

I said to her, "I'm trying to trust you..." Then I corrected myself, "I do trust you"... then said, "I hope that you are being honest with me"
(this was all said last Sunday when we were talking about the Disney World trip and when she offered to forward me the email confirming her show for that night).

The reality is that I don't completely trust her right now. Could I again? Yes. I will trust her 100% once she has recommitted to our M and to me. The problem is that she is NOT committed right now... She is still trying to figure things out for herself.

Since I am a proponent of verifying trust. I am not going to say don't verify.

How do I verify Jack? I have to admit that I looked for iphone applications last night that would allow me to track her phone! THAT is crazy. I wasn't able to find any that didn't have to be downloaded to her phone ... btw.

If I drive by her house, I can't see if her car is there bc she has a garage. I'm REALLY not worried about finding OM there bc of the toilet event. I don't think that she will have him there even if she is lying to me.

My problem is wondering if she is going to her home after these other plans that she has told me about... and whether or not she is talking to him on the phone... wondering if OM really hasn't been on any of her gigs lately...

How do I verify any of this?

I am going to warn you from experience of going overboard. Because, when that happens, you will keep looking until you find something that confirms your suspicisons. No matter how flimsy it is.

Example?

Drive by her house, and no OM truck...then widening your search to the next 5 blocks, seeing a truck that could be his in front of someones house...That biotch!

Fine line where you're the crazy one.

Very fine line... and I think that I've crossed it a few times in the past couple of days.

I have no evidence that she has lied to me or that she is seeing OM... but, at the same time, I haven't had that much contact with her this week.

Yes... driving me crazy.