Well....I stood in the card store trying to decide what to do regarding STBX's birthday (and 23rd anniversary of day we met) tomorrow. I read over a few and some almost made me cry. It reminded me of what it was like to be excited to buy a card for my wife and know she would love to receive it. This time is so different.
I finally decided that since it's no longer about busting our divorce, there really is no wrong choice from that point of view. I can give up all "tactics" and just do what my heart tells me to do. What do I have to lose at this point? We are going to be co-parents and likely co-grandparents for life, so just being caring is some where to start that new relationship.
With all that in mind, I bought a "troubled relationship" card and will make that her b'day card. The script on the card is exactly what I feel:
"I wish I could go back in time...back to those unspoiled moments in our relationship before hurt ever touched our hearts, before doubt ever entered our minds. Because if I could go back and start from those moments, I would hold you longer, never miss a chance to tell you how much you mean to me...and I would never, ever hurt you".
"But I know we can't go back to those days. I know I can't erase the mistakes. I can't take away the questions you must have or the hurt we both feel. But I can assure you of one thing- I love you-as I did then and as I always will."
Typing that almost made me cry. Those words convey my exact thoughts and feelings. Now, I need to figure out what to write inside.
What do you folks think of the wording? I am ready for the 2x4s.
