My H emotionally? Well, he isn't one to really show emotion. However, he does say that he feels all kinds of guilt and shame. He doesn't like to talk about it (A or ow) and can get angry if I am not stoic myself when I need to know something and ask questions. I have to be like Lilith on Cheers....completely level and flat. I am normally full of expression, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. To regulate this has been my project.

We had a talk the other morning and we both agree that we were in a rut with each other. H didn't feel loved by me. ...AND to be completely honest, I guess I didn't feel in love with him. I buried myself in work and beagn to feel trapped and like the cash cow. I grew resentful towards my family. Work was like an addiction, golden handcuffs, and I didn't know how to get out of my own rut. I hated seeing H drive in the driveway, my mood would just drop. So he had this young thing at work who adored him and there you have it. DANG! I did say to him the summer of 2009 that I thought we were in trouble, but he didn't want to do anything about it, so I shrugged and decided to let him be. He seemed depressed to me and I had no real interest in looking into it more. I figured he'd get over it sooner or later....

SO, now we are KLA and checking in more, ML more, staying connected. We even looked at a new couch we could both snuggle on. H says he loves me more now than he ever has and feels very much connected with me. I am still on guard and have so much pain inside. I wish I could share his feelings. I do love him, but sometimes wonder why I do.

VC, how did your H end the A with ow? How is he now with you emotionally?

M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29
S 22,21, 19
Bomb 4/10
It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013
We all have work to do


The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.