You're doing a good thing not venting to your son. As hard as that is Be.
I haven't always been able to bite my tongue, but am really trying now. I try to take the high road, but sometimes I fail.
I woke up this morning and as usual, my first thought was of STBX and then of her with OM. I try every day to drop the rope, detach all that stuff, but still have not done it. I wonder when I will be able to just live "normally" and not have the uneasy feeling all day. When will I go even one day without thinking of her? It's been almost 2 years since I came back here and I still think of her, our situation and "coulda" - "woulda" - "shoulda" at least 20 times a day. Seriously.
Today, I have to decide what to do about her birthday tomorrow. As mentioned before, it's also the 23rd anniversary of us meeting. Tomorrow will be a very tough day for me. Last year on that day, STBX and I had a wonderful dinner together and then a wonderful time at her apartment. That is honestly, the last time I remember feeling calm, comfortable and content.
Wow...that's tough to admit to you folks and to myself.
