4 months........

[~¤DG¤~]

My old thread has been locked.

It makes me sad to see all the new posts by new people on here. It's a club that I don't think most of us want to belong to, but I'm glad we are able to support one another.

4 months that we have been separated. Have had NC at all since last Friday. Before that, only via text and I have not seen him for over a month.

I have good and bad days, but lately I have been really missing him. I also have given up any hope that we will reconcile. It's hard to accept it, but I'm trying to be as positive as I can about it. Part of me wants to tell him to come and get the rest of his things, but the other part of me isn't ready to make that final step. Knowing some of his things are here comforts me at times. I know, it makes me sound unstable.

I've been going to IC for 5 months now and honestly, I think that and my kids and friends are what keep me sane. I am so grateful for them. I've learned a lot about myself in C, and I am glad I am going. I've made some positive changes in my life and it feels good.
I feel like my life is great except for the issues in my M.
I'm trying to be happy despite of everything, but I feel like I have a giant hole in the middle of my heart and sometimes it feels unbearable.

I am working so hard on detaching. That is by far the hardest part of all of this.

[hollowed454]

Sorry to hear that about your sitch.

Which techniques have you been using? still fairly new here and haven't read everyone's stories. Have read quite a few though and most make me sad.

I understand that completely. Part of the reason why I haven't rushed my W into coming to get her stuff.

[~¤DG¤~]

Right now I would say I am "dark" which means no contact with my H.

I am also GAL for myself. It was very hard for me at first but it gets easier.

[dcz]

DG,

I know how hard it is. I have been trying to do it also. Mine is hard as H is still in the same house with me. So I see him every day. H did get me to respond today and I am sure I said more than I should have. I am going to go total dark on him from know on. Keep working at it I think my M is over also.

[~¤DG¤~]

Journaling----

Tomorrow is our 5 year wedding anniversary.
I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up until Friday.
This week has been rough, probably the first real rough week since my bday in May. The roller coaster seems to cease at times, but never fully stops.

I find comfort in knowing I have learned some valuable lessons on my journey so far, lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life, lessons that are making me a better person.

I'm just...sad.

[notsosunny]

Good morning DG,

I understand the sadness of anniversary's birthdays etc.

When my hubby and I were seperated in 2007 our 24th annivesary came and went without either of us acknowleding the occasion.......it hurt like heck.....
but......my hubby is not or has never been the romantic /sentimental type, and when we reconciled and celebrated our 25th in our quiet way ( dinner and a night out together ) none of his family or mine even sent a card!! Now that hurt my feelings more than the 24th annv.

It was our " Silver " for gods sake. I think that maybe because the divorce had not been dropped by him yet at the time that the families felt it was not a time to celebrate?

IDK

You will get thru this day.........make some plans with friends, be with people that love you and that you love.
Don't ignore the pain.....just live it and go thru it and continue on.........

Hugs

Sunny

[JustStunned]

DG, I too know the feeling, I think we all do. You'll get through it you will persevere, you know this, believe it.

[jbnati]

I know this is extremely tough, DG. It really [censored]. This will pass, though. Next week will be a brighter week. This week will be brigther at the end. Right now it's just another day. Remember it's all you have - make the most of it.

[~¤DG¤~]

I am on a downward spiral today. Just a very, very bad day.

I want to stop hurting! I want to stop feeling like I have a dagger in my chest.

I am angry at my H for not acknowledging my kids on father's day, kids he said he loved like his own. B.S. I'm mad he promised me forever and I guess forever only lasts 5 years in my world.
And I'm angry because I was SO. F*CKING stupid and didn't realize what it is that I had.

[Eryam]

DG, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Please try to find some friends or family to be with through the next few days. I really think it will help.