I had my family reunion this last week. Husband decided back in February not to attend. The reunion was 1300 miles away from home. I drove my mother, daughter and myself to the reunion and back. Every day I was gone HE called ME. The only time I contacted him first was when we ran in to a rain storm on the drive up and when I nearly ran out of gas on the way home. Otherwise I purposely waited to see if he would contact me…and he did, every day. Once he called or texted I would converse back and forth with him but I made sure I didn’t continue correspondence throughout the day. I would just wait until the next day when he called. While I was gone I continued to monitor his Facebook account and because he had advised me that he was going out while I was gone I wasn’t surprised to see comments about his activities while I was gone. For the most part he stayed home (his brother was staying with us and verified – and no, he wouldn’t cover for my husband, he’s against what’s been going on). There was an entry though that made me cry. It was a comment about what a good time he was having with <girls name> and <girls name>. I was upset because I just couldn’t get over how cruel he could be to post something he knew I would see. On the two day drive home I considered unfriending him on Facebook so I wouldn’t have to have it thrown in my face.
On the day we were to arrive home he called me earlier than he had called any other day. He asked me what time we had left the hotel and were we on the road yet. He seemed a little upset that I hadn’t texted him that we were on our way. (Remember this is a man who said there was no hope and we should sell our house and go our separate ways). I told him we had left around 7am and would get home around 7pm. About 120 miles from home I texted him asking if we should pick up dinner on our way in and he responded by saying that he was already cooking dinner. When I asked what he was cooking he told me it was a secret.  When we got home he met us as the door, gave me a hug and continued to pinch my butt while I was greeting our dogs. I stepped away to use the restroom and when I opened the door he was standing there with a big smile on his face. He grabbed me and kissed me like never before. Afterwards I pulled back and told him I missed him. He said nothing, but it didn’t bother me because he had said so much with the kiss. (Been reading Love Languages) The rest of the evening was wonderful. He flirted and we some of the best sex we’ve had in a long time. We sat and talked about the trip, he asked me about the reunion and I told him he would have had a good time had he gone. He told me he hadn’t spoken to the girlfriend at all that day and he told me everything he did throughout the week. At the time, I thought it was strange. Why was he telling me where he went and who he went with? To rub it in? After some thought I think it was to reassure me that he didn’t do anything he wasn’t supposed to do.
He left for work the next morning. At some point that morning his brother came to me and we started discussing what went on while I was away. Turns out my husband went out Saturday night (the same night the post in Facebook turned up) and came home spitting mad. Brother said he mumbled something about ‘women’ and grabbed a bottle of scotch. Together they sat and drank and talked about what happened that night….husband went out with girlfriend and her friend. When the night was coming to a close she invited him back to her place to spend the night and HE REFUSED! His refusal lit her fuse. She apparently railed at him that here I was 1300 miles away, I would never find out, and what the heck was wrong with him. Of course her tantrum pushed him away and he came home. Husband also told brother that girlfriend was the one who ‘jacked’ his phone and made the Facebook entry about having a good time.
We’ll see how the coming week goes. Liz
Me: 41 H: 39 1 daughter born 1999 T: 21 M: 19 this July Discovered EA w/OW: 02/06/11