The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Journal update:
Not much to report that's different. Found out my new job start date/orientation and my son's middle school graduation are at the same time. Should be interesting to figure this one out.

I was talking to a couple of different friends over the past several days. Two things *clicked* for me that I didn't see before. I didn't plan for that, but hey, better late then never, right?
One is the stbx's predatory behavior. She looks for guys she can fix while they are having issues in their own marriages. That's sick. Whatever.
The more important thing I noticed is this: I have been struggling to get away from her. Hard enough with her gone, but I noticed she seems to want me to be gone and not go far at the same time. It's weird. My pastor mentioned it to me first. My friend drove it home. She mentioned that it was a push/pull and that makes it harder. Yep. That got me thinking how to stop that cycle. I figured it out. Drop the remainder of the rope and don't let her push any buttons. Jack mentioned it elsehwere: rip out the connecting wires she is used to using so there can be no connection. Or something like that. Anyway, it brought me great peace to think I have had the key all along. No I am putting it into practice.

Since she has had some weird emails she sent. Just to "let me know" something. But if I open that door it ends in a bloody nose and it feels like controlling behavior. So, I took it as fyi and moved on.

I'm journaling this to close the loop on the advice I had received so long ago about detaching and letting go... for me. I see that now. To all that mentioned it- THANKS!!!! Wish I had "gotten" it then, but it sank in finally.

Slow but steady. That's me

Peace y'all!

AJ