digging in again...feels like quicksand sometimes

[AntoniaB]

Hi Brooklyn,

I'm glad you updated as I've been wondering about you for awhile now :-)

I've gone through a few weeks of beating myself up for not being farther along, and in a way reading your post gave me comfort, because I feel like if you, of anyone here, sometimes feel like you're in quicksand, then I know that what I perceive of my own "lack of progress" is just normal, par for the course.

I really take a lot of comfort in your posts. I often think of you when I pray. Sometimes I don't FEEL like praying for my XH to heal or find his path, because anger gets in the way, but then I always think about you and Eric, who has also been an enormous help to me, and you guys give me the strength to see past my own hurt and think kindly on my XH, so thank you for that.

I am happy you have a friend. I actually joined eharmony to find some new friends--my doctor recommended it strongly, my friends did. I got on there and immediately felt it was all wrong. I bailed out on one man immediately. But then I saw someone who just seemed nice, and I sent a very polite note just saying could we maybe be friends? And he has been a great new connection to me. I think he's had some bad relationships too, and he is very much a "I want things to be slow as possible, I want to be good friends. Some day we can meet, but for now let's just get to know one another."

No pressure at all. Just a friendship.

I think it's wonderful when we can meet people like this. It restores our sense that some people out there are good for us and we're good for them. I think it's important that we make these connections so we don't become completely soured on love and relationships as a result of what we've been through. So I'm glad to hear that you have made this connection (or rather that the connection seems to have sought you out).

Like you I keep digging in, and it's hard, but you and so many people here are such a comfort. Knowing that others feel the same pain is the best we can hope for as we know we aren't alone.

Big hugs to you, Brooklyn. You continue to be an inspiration to me.