Rap, Your name is interesting. Have you been feeling trapped in a tower? I read your post on Newcomers.
I'm glad you're working on the things about yourself that you want to change.
Quote: If I can just stop him getting angry over stupid little things and kids noise then i'm sure I will feel more loving towards him.
Is your H doing anything regarding his difficulties with anger? It sounds like a pretty significant problem for him and I seriously doubt it is all about sex. You've forgiven him for hitting you. That's some serious forgiving. Please don't believe that you're responsible for his poor anger management. He sounds like just a generally angry kind of person based on this and your post on Newcomers. It sounds like you've spent most of your marriage trying to keep him from getting angry or angrier, and not succeeding. That's because it is HIS problem, not yours. You can't do the work for him. Unfortunately, people with anger problems often don't see it as being THEIR problem; it's everybody else out there making them angry.
Keep working on you for your sake. Explore and develop your sexuality. Enjoy that hairdresser's course. Go out on that way overdue girls' night out! Protect yourself.
Best wishes, MPT
P.S. Are you sure you want a 14 year olds' advice on fashion?! I don't know what they're wearing over in Australia, but in the U.S. they are wearing what *I* wore as a teen in the 70's! I ain't goin' there again!
