ooohweee what'sup wit that

[Sad_but_happy]

I will not duck everyones critisizm of my take on the WAS situation. I am here and I will answer the questions.

Yes, I guess you could say I am a success story. My W has cut off all ties, wants to be married, and wants to spend "forever" together. We ML all the time again and do lots of things together. So from that aspect I guess I have been a successful DB'er.

I don't claim to have all the answers, nor did I try to offend. I'm simply tired of the constant bashing each and every LBS takes upon themselves.

WE need to look back and change

WE need to do better

WE need to treat our S better

WE WE WE WE WE




And after all is said and done, the WAS has the CHOICE to stay or go. The WAS makes the final decision. This after MANY OF THEM do more hurt than can be imagined. And we wait for them.

And you know why?

Because WE allow it.



We tell them things like:

"I am here for you".

"Here, let me help you move all my stuff to your new home".

"If you need to talk after having sex with OM, I will be here for you".

"I want to be your friend".

"Oh and W, if you need a set of Ba!!s, you can have mine as I really don't need them any more".



And I am not speaking from any anger. I am in no way upset or hurt by my W actions. I am confused why I put up with it. I know the answer why, but I don't like it.

It wasn't love first and foremost.

It was fear.



In my mind there is more right and more wrong in life which I understand some on this board don't agree with.

And I will keep you all posted on my decision to stay with or leave my W.

The nice thing about piecing and gaining a comfort level is you get to reflect on your situation WITHOUT fear or emotion. You get to decide if staying IS really the best option.


Sometimes one little kiss is enough 25. Sometimkes one EA (even one that lasts only 45 days) is to many. I just haven't decided yet.


As MWD says, DB'ing is about finding yourself. Finding what you deserve. Finding your happiness. And finding a person that would not cheat.


I really do like you all and admire everyones strength. And I look forward to reading great success stories in the future.