The big punch - Redux

[Redo]

JS, yup codependency had been a very big problem for me in my marriage. I find it very weird right now to be living by myself and making decisions by myself. I know it is good for me in the long run.

Journaling...

So i get a traffic ticket yesterday in the mail. The one you get from those automated traffic cameras. It was my wife's car. Since the car she is driving is registered under my name and still has our home address, i got the bill.

So i actually called her, told her about the ticket and told her that i'll be scanning in the ticket for her to take care of it. I felt bad that i was making her pay. But it was her ticket and i think she needs to know that now there are gonna be stuff that she needs to take care herself.

It is weird, but i have this unwavering feeling of having to protect her all the time. I think half the time i get down about our current situation is because i feel bad for her. But i think it could be my own issues that cause me to think this way. The big kicker is that she used to say that she felt the same way about me too. Just recently she said that i was like a drug to her and she needed to get rid of the feeling to constantly come back to me. Perhaps she was talking about her feeling to protect me all the time.

Man i am getting headache analyzing all this