Your previous post about the tennis game was right on the mark. I was trying to agree with you. But I am not trying to make this a power struggle. What I meant is that I currently have NO power in my relationship, as the spouse with the lower desire usually holds most of the power. WHat I am trying to do is find a little power in my situation, to avoid appearing so weak and wimpy (others here have said it turned them off to their husbands). I am so desparate to touch my wife that I initiate all contact, which bothers my wife to some degree. But if I do not touch her, we NEVER touch. I just want to appear more manly to her.
I am begining to understand the theory of that if you want change in your marriage for the better, you need to be willing to risk divorce (got this from books as well as here). Divorce may be the solution, but man, 3 kids will have their lives screwed up, they could lose their home, they certainly would be poorer, they would not see their dad much, and the dad would be very lonely. Lets face it, I have been looking at the 40-50 year old ladies out there, and honestly, how many single, cute, in shape, and highly sexed 40 year old ladies are out there. From what I have read, among couples seeking professional help, 90% are for couples where the wifes desire has plummeted, so I am guessing the vast majority of divorcees are divorced for DESIRE problems.
