I should be doing it for me and most of the time I think it is. But then I do miss her so much and wonder what the hell she is doing and am happy that she his curious.
I'm not going to tell you what you shouldn't do, it's obvious as you being a human being you will continue to do what you want to do until you make a decision to change.
I've told you several times to let go, but no one can force you to do that until you're ready. I know that and see it clearly. I did the same thing.
I will tell you though, until you actually identify inside yourself what makes YOU happy; You will continue to watch her and base your happiness on her. Your decisions and how you MOVE forward do change the circumstances and dictate the direction in which you DO want this sub-par relationship to go. I hope you understand that. YOUR change will move this in a HUGE way. One day you will wake up and realize "Why am I caring about someone who doesn't respect me and our family enough to try and work this out? Why do I continue to worry about someone that doesn't value me as MUCH AS I VALUE MYSELF AND ALL MY HARD WORK?". You will face this one day. The sooner you can achieve this, the better chance you have to make her miss you too. That's the dynamic you need to change.
