kids went to her apt tonight to eat dinner and hang out. I stayed at home and cleaned house, watched braves game and then decided to get dressed. I put on jeans, tight fitting shirt and nice shoes, shaved and combed my hair. Slapped on some cologne and went to walmart. HAHA. The reason for the dressing up was to pick kids up and make her wonder.
Early today she called before she came to get the kids, I answered because it was close to time to come get them and figured she would say she wasnt coming or running late.
She began to cry again, and tell me she doesnt spend enough time with them and always having to leave them. Wanted them to spend the night tonight and she would lock them in apt when she left at 6am. D14 has volleyball practice at 9, I told her that right now it seemed the kids were getting adjusted and liked that they could come home on nights that she had to leave early for work. She complained that i spend more time with them and always doing things with them. She doesnt get to do things with them. I advised her that there has been numerous times that she could have them and even spend the night on weekends, but she didnt take advantage of them. She cried that she misses them. I told her that without a doubt me and the kids wish things could be different. I told her that me nor them could change things and left it at that. Did not tell her that she could change them, but she is smart enought to know what I meant.
I told her I would ask the kids if they were ok with spending the night and would let her know. I went to d14 and s12 and asked them together and d14 said if she had to spend the night then she would not go. S12 said he didnt care, but he does not want disapoint anyone. So I told them that they stick together as a group and that they didnt have to stay.
I called her back and advised her of what they said, and she said ok and told me she would be there to pick them up in 10 minutes. When she said bye, if was very soft and sweet.
when i got to her apt, i told my sister in law to text me a couple of times and I would check them while i was there and smile at the phone. I know it a bit of a game but i didnt write the rules i just play by them. i knocked on door and s12 answered it, w came to door and said s8 was asleep on coach and I would have to come in a get him. I walked in she looked at me from head to toe. As soon as i went to get s8 from sofa my phone went off with about 4 text messages. I stopped and looked at them with a smile on my face. I picked him up and started for the door. W asked me if I wanted a homemade brownie,and i replied no thank you, she then asked if I wanted some shrimp fettacunni, which I did want some of that, but I replied the same no thank you.
I walked down the stairs and she told me to be careful and goodnight, i replied goodnight.
I can only imagine the amount of emotions she was dealing with not only where i have been, and who was texting and why i was smiling at them, but more importantly than that, is the fact that s8 had to go home and I had to carry him down stairs. I know it hurts her, but again not kids choice or mine for her to leave. Nothing we can do to change it.
But is was a positive outcome, and its small steps for me and her.
