NOPkins, Well said. Just my 2 cents worth on having dealt with an angry spouse. I know that some of his anger was justified just as some of Cemar's anger is justified but that does not make a safe place for a spouse to express themselves.
I often told my H that if I were Jesus he would be angry that I was perfect. It seemed to me that he was angry at me for the first 15 years of our marriage and pissed off for the next 3.
When you spouse is angry at you it is very easy to justify ones responses and actions - often responses and actions that only make the situation worse instead of better.
Quote: . In all honesty, a wife can blow, get mad, THROW THINGS, yell, cry, stomp, call us names and we still get over it pretty quick. Don't do that in reverse. Fair or not, you will probably seriously damage her.
My H has always said that if he told me to take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut that I considered it way worse than if I told him the same thing. There is some validity to that. My h in his angry times has hurled extremely hurtful things in my direction. He has been cold, distant, and downright hateful and believe me it did not bring warm fuzzies to my heart no matter how much he later said he was sorry.
If you can get past the anger and see your spouse as the woman that you onced thought hung the moon and stars she might respond to a kinder gentler you. Not a doormat - just a nicer person - the person the people see maybe at the office.
I can only say from my own experience that living with an angry spouse is a sad and lonely place - I often felt like I was "Sleeping with the Ememy" and no one should live like that. You might find if you can let go of the anger that your wife could possibly be sad and lonely and rejects you because she doesn't feel close enough to you to share herself with you.
You don't want to sleep with the ememy. You want to sleep with someone you trust. Maybe if she felt more comfortable and that she wasn't sleeping with the ememy she might want to sleep with you, her friend.
Good luck my friend. I wish you the very best Cemar.
