So, then what are my options, me being the awful guy that actually wants to TOUCH his wife. I have been told to change me, and this is GOOD advice, I just jhave a long way to go. You have told me yourself that I can only change me, that my wife will only change when she wants to if ever. But it seems that many of us are here to make changes in our relationships that might get changes in return. I have read the SSM, and in order for ANY of it to work requires changes by BOTH partners. No one is right or wrong, but you have to find an acceptable solution for each. Luckily you found something that works for you, most of us are really struggling on a solution. So in the long run it seems it boils down to 3 solutions:
A) Make changes in ourselfs to help the relationship and MAYBE by the grace of God the other spouse will magically understand these changes and also make changes. B) Option #10 from SSM, Kiss your sex life goodbye, lock it in the closet and throw away the key and accept your spouse for who they are and try to build a tolerable marriage. C) Divorce
Options B and C are AWFUL options, but may be necessary, and C is really bad for people that have religious convictions as well. I have read all kinds of web sites and books, and I have yet to see a single expert say that to fix this problem does not require the work of the LD spouse. It is a couple problem, and if it is to be resolved, both spouses must make changes. It is the duty of the HD to do everything they can to bring the relationship to whatever point the LD needs, it is the duty of the HD to make sex as effortless and enjoyable as possible. But they all say for this to work will require significant effort on the part of the LD spouse as well, as they must find as easy a path to enjoying sex as possible. If the LD chooses to NOT work on the "PROBLEM" then we are back to the 2 terrible options. Or is there another option that I can not think of at this point?
If us HD male pigs are so responsible for causing our wives to become ND, if we change back to the wonderful guys we were when we got married, then do the ND wives go back to being HD wives? I am not trying to be snotty here, but it seems to me that there are more contributing factors to ND then just a jerky husband. And as Michelle says, who cares what the reason is, just do something to solve he situation.
