Quote: I disagree--it is definitely not hurting your sitch, TG.
I agree. I guess that was an emotional response from me. I'm sure if I didn't help out things would be much worse in our marriage.
Quote: I'm still going to stand by and ask you to support her in different ways. Lots of validating and cherishing. If an opportunity arises, please, please encourage her to seek counseling.
We've agreed to start couseling after the first of the year. It would be sooner, but we both agree that it probably wouldn't be feasible with busy holiday schedules, family in town, etc. until a couple of weeks from now. We've already gotten the name of a counselor from a couple from our Sunday School class that had similar issues a couple of years ago.
Quote: How about buying her a day at a spa or something totally indulgent? Give her coupons for non-sexual massage or foot rubs? Buy a foot bath and some champagne and get her all set up somewhere away from the kids?
Unfortunately, money is tight going to a spa would be out. Other gestures I have tried seem to get met with the "You're just doing this because you want me in bed" response. I know I'm to blame for this since that I have done this in the past, and now she's gunshy.I'm not sure how to get beyond this, without offering more gestures (innocent) and dealing with her rejecting them, until she sees that it's not just to get her in bed. (or somewhere else for that matter).
Quote: And you might want to also put on your list of must reads The Five Love Languages. Excellent read and maybe would help you learn HER love language.
