I think that the last week was good for us. Yesterday was the first time in along time that we have talked about things, without me feeling that you were going to blow.
I couldn't tell that you were nervous; I thought you seemed open and receptive. That's why I even dared to tell you that I still wonder about your tasking in QC. I think it was 3 years ago. I thought that your calm reassuring response was what I've been needing all along. For the last 3 years, whenever I did mention it, you got so ugly that it only made me wonder more.
I think that this week has been so good that I was actually worried that you were thinking that everything is fine now. I know that that has happened many times before, then I say something to indicate that no, not all is well (in my head), and then you would bail, ask "why are we doing this anyway", or threaten divorce.
I'm so happy to be communicating and I'm thrilled that you are self-calming. I am still healing, but if you can keep talking like that, maybe we can put your anger and my fears to bed.
Keep doing what you're doing H, it is what I need to feel safe with you.
This kind of communication is just so awesome!!! It is really good to see. I hope that it is translating to the 'real' world.
