I think Underdog has a point, TG. I'm in a similar situation, sex-wise, with my ND wife. We've had sex twice this year. But in October 2002 we adopted a daughter from China and I love her so much. If someone asked me if I'd take a bullet for her, I'd say yes. In fact, the bullet I'm already taking is that I won't divorce my wife, even though, at 42, I feel my sexual spirit dying daily. I love my wife, but I love her as the mother of our daughter, as a friend, and as a partner in this legal arrangement called a marriage. There is no lust or romance between us. Maybe I'll have an affair...I'm not looking for one, but I'm certainly vulnerable to having one. The best thing I've done so far is get on anti-depressants. Although my situation hasn't changed, I'm much more relaxed about it. And I find I don't get into these endless inner-dialogues about how my life sucks that I used to get into all the time. Good luck, TG. The book may help.
