I'm sorry that the delay gets you pushed pages back.
I understand the anxiety. And reading a lot of relationship books can help and it can backfire, because you get conflicting opinions.
If you can do it without reacting, do option 2. Let your wife talk. And tell her you just really want to listen. If she asks you if you want to divorce, tell her simply no. But don't fight or defend, just listen. Tell her you can talk again after you have some time to really think about what she has said. If you can do it, let her get all of her complaints out.
If you choose to do this with a counselor, make sure it's a pro-marriage counselor. The wrong counselor CAN make things worse.
