Background: I am HD, my wife LD. My W and I have been married 6+ years. 3 1/2 year old D, 1 1/2 year old S.
In the beginning we would have sex about twice a week. We were very happy for the first 2 1/2 years. After getting pregnant with our first child W's desire dropped. We would have sex about once a month. I attributed it to the pregnancy. After the birth of D in 7/2000, W stopped her teaching career to stay home with D. She has been a wonderful mother. I couldn't ask for anything better.
After the birth of D our frequency remained about the same (1/month). It was at a tolerable level being new parents and having lower energy levels, but I would have liked more often.
In Nov. 2001 we began trying to have a second child. We convceived right away and then her desire dropped off the charts. S was born in 7/2002 - 5 weeks early. He was a high maintenance baby. He had acid reflux, breathing problems, and was on several medications at once. It was draining on us both but I still had a HD for my W. From the time we conceived S until he was 8 months old we had sex twice. Since then I'm lucky if it's once every couple of months.
This has gotten me very down. I was a virgin when we were married. So making love was a very big deal to me. It is an expression of love. My W has little if no interest. I can't understand why she doesn't want to make love to me. We were intimate often before the kids and I know it is tiring, but to be so disinterested is baffling to me.
I do my very best to help around the house to try to help her from getting so drained, but it seems to have no effect. I have been unhappy for the last 3 years and can only see it getting worse. We're becoming distant and neither of us want to live without the other, but I can't see me going on like this indefinitely. Sooner or later it will be too much for me to handle.
What is finally brining this to a head was a Christmas party we went to. She was having a lot of fun, acting flirtacous, then when we got home she just went to sleep. That felt like a stake through my heart. I now feel our marriage is headed for disaster.
A few days ago I found this web site and have ordered SSM (hasn't arrived yet). I'm hoping this can be the start of a change. But it's tough to believe while I'm so down.
