I have been dark since the day she walked out, I am very responsive to her in front of kids at ball games. I tell her bye when she leaves and they are present. Not once have I sad one bad word or comment about her. I tell them when they ask, that mom is going through some things in her life right now, and we can only keep loving her and pray everyday that she battles through what she is dealing with. A friend asked me last night, if she is been gone for 30 days now, and she felt she left for the right reasons and was happy doing so, why does she call and text you so much. Great question!! I do not call her, text her, and when I am around her do not start any converstaions with her. I cant continue to be available to her unless its with issues of kids. I have to detach and give in to her little pieces of bait she throws out there everyday. It only sets me back, and I have to move forward. If what she left behind is worth fighting for then she will have to prove that at this point. The only thing if i make first move is for her to shut me down and then I will have to start over from what I accomplished over the past 30 days. I know she is not ready yet, my db coach told me last week, that same thing. W needs to continue to feel the remorse and the missing of what she had. Need to continue the part of being on her own and decide if that is better than what she had. Patience is key in her opinion, and to look for small signs of her moving closer to me. She has shown many signs if you go back and read my post. But I know at this point I have to stick to my guns and continue to stay dark, but respectful for my kids. I am never mean to her, I never raise my voice on phone or in public. Sometimes I wonder if I should take the risk of asking her what is going on with her, but I am so afraid of what she will say. It seems she is sad, and scared and knows she made a mistake. But I have to be careful for me and my kids right now.
By her actions since she left, out drinking all the time, not wanting to spend a lot of time with kids. One day she is acting like she loves me and the next deleting me from facebook and being eratic. Her behavior right now, is not good for me and kids, she will have to come to a point of full remorse and start fighting for what she lost. The small signs, are only to try to get me to come closer to her, but will she ever learn from her mistakes and what she did, if I just let her off the hook. For me and my kids that is a huge risk as she will have no issues of doing it again in the future, if she knows I will just let her come and go as she pleases. I cant put my kids through that again.
