WAW, Filing as Fast as Possible

[aeolianchaos]

Quick update - got a text from W last night letting me know she was in same city as I was, albeit at 2am.. very odd. I don't know why, as she hasn't texted me in over a week - suddenly she wants to do that?

I think I'm best off not responding at this point - I have enough to worry about without getting pulled into that whole situation. Figuring out what I want to be doing w/ my life is kind of a big deal right now.

Talked w/ a friend yesterday who was adamant that I should seek spousal support - pointed out that W is clearly only concerned w/ her own interests, and that I had spent the past 3 years doing a lot of relocating in the interests of her success, not really giving myself the same opportunities to succeed, and certainly not being in a position to support myself financially. At the time, that was 'the plan' and I was okay w/ it because I saw it as us working towards a larger purpose. I was in denial about the effect it was having on me and the way it was making me feel about myself, but I still always supported her emotionally and definitely did a lot of packing, loading, and unpacking along the way.

I'm a little conflicted about the spousal support - I think for me its more the principle of acknowledgement that "HEY! I was a part of this whole thing, and maybe if you had valued that you might not have treated me the way you did, and chosen to leave the marriage after 3 years.." Because at this point, she is just so focused on herself and 'her future' that it really does feel like it invalidates my contributions and the role I've played in being there for her and with her every step of the way. I know that it means I'm still kind of focused on _her_ validation of me, but I guess maybe thats normal when someone feels like they got stepped on and used.