I called her a bit later after her text. I explained to her that I was not trying to get any kind of answer from her, that I agreed that there are never guarantees in life, and that I understood that. I told her my hesitancy had to do with me feeling afraid of being hurt. That I would be extremely hurt if we went on this trip and then, when we got back, all of a sudden she told me that she was done... or was back to hanging out with OM.
Meh. In my opinion, this not only makes you look needy (unattractive), Denver, it also just opens up a new debate with your wife (which in fact happened).
I think you should neither make this about money, nor tell her that you're afraid of being "hurt." What if you just said "I'd really like to go, too, but I'm just not sure this is such a great idea right now, considering where we are with everything" or something like that?
Not to sound cruel or anything, but I really don't think your wife cares much about you being "hurt" in her current mindset (she's still displaying a lot of anger and entitlement). That doesn't make it RIGHT, but that's how she feels right now, and you have to deal with that.
