XYZ is here, but I won't be staying...

[XYZ]

Hey man -

Not really any R talks since I moved. I moved because she told me that she was "dead inside towards me" and wasn't interested in working on the M. I took that as "done done done" and got my own place. That was 6 weeks ago. In hind sight, I see how much I pressured her since coming home from Sep round 1. Didn't mean to, but I did. Since that I really got myself in the mindset that it was over and felt it. I stood up to her (not just "yes, dear"-ing everything she said). I've called her on Crap Behavior ("I will respond to your messages when it's convenient to me") and I went pretty close to dark. All of that is what got a reaction from her. Too bad it took me getting to the place that I was done.

So in the vein of do more of what works and less of what doesn't, I'm keeping all that going, but slightly nicer - I give her a chance to talk to me whereas a couple weeks ago, I didn't even to that (i.e. before if she got on the phone I just said "ok, bye". Now it's more like "hi" and let her talk for 2 or 3 minutes before I end the call). We'll see where we go from here. My lawyer is on vacation this week, so that's good. I was thinking I may stall that a week or two anyway and just see what happens.

As for her career - yeah I think that was most of the problem. I believe that this all came to a head when W became depressed as a result of her work (she's a therapist that works almost exclusively with suicidal, teenage girls - and she works 24x7 (I can't tell you how many 2:00AM phone calls from a kid attempting suicide she's gotten) - what a toll after several years of that!). I wasn't there for her - I told her on multiple occasions that I didn't want to hear about her work because I couldn't handle the emotions of what she does. I'm 100% sure that that was the spark (now, I had PLENTY to contribute, that's just what light the wood on fire so to speak). Will she ever acknowledge the role of her work? Doubtful. If given a chance will I be there for her in the future with regards to it? You bet you a$$ I will.