74 Days - Who Knows?

[Denver_2010]

Denver - I just read up on your sitch. I can't believe the difference between now and a short time ago. From the "toilet incident" to now...just wow. We so rarely see any good news around here, that it seems almost foreign. It must be so tough for you to not get excited and move too quickly. I am not sure if I ever actually had a chance, but a year ago today, I was only a few days away from going on vacation with STBX to celebrate her birthday. And now today, I am only a few days away from starting divorce conditions. I definitely tried to take too much too soon and scared STBX right into the waiting arms of her Boss. Please remember that every time you are about to move too quickly - not that you have so far. Just a word of caution.

Be proud. But be patient.

BeTheMan - You are absolutely right. I don't know how much of my sitch you are familiar with, but this is the second time that I have been in the position where it seems that I have a real chance of reconciling my M. It first happened in March. Both W and I moved too fast that time around. We talked about W moving back into the house, we talked every day, we hung out almost every day, and we even went to a couple of MC sessions together. And all of this had been after almost 3 months of us barely talking and W dating OM. W got scared and backed away big time at the end of April up until the "OM on the toilet event".

Since then, W have moved back closer towards me and reconciliation. I am trying to take it slow, but you are right, it is VERY difficult. In fact, it is the most difficult thing about any of this if you ask me.

I try to reiterate to my W every time that we do have R talk that I am not trying to pressure her and that I am willing to give her as much time as she needs... albeit with the boundary that I have set.

I meant to mention in my update above that I reiterated my W today that I didn't mean to pressure her, that I am still willing to give her as much time as she needs... albeit with the boundary.

I did tell W that I am not looking for her to give me any 'ultimate' answer right now, but that I felt that we wouldn't get closer to that until we both make the decision that we are committed to working on the M. That the 'ultimate' answer from her that we are both looking for isn't going to just magically appear. That instead, it will come from making a commitment and then the work that we put into it that follows the commitment.

I think that W is waiting for some sign from the heavens or something. I believe that it is merely a choice that she needs to make... either commit and work on the M or don't...

Denver