This was an especially hard week for me - altho exh and I are not in the same department - our offices are next to one another. Anyway, prior to the divorce he made it a point to stay as far away from me as possible most of the time since we do not have to interact. This week he was mostly "underfoot" it seemed - I call it "out and about" but seemed to be everywhere I was at in the building as the same time! It unnerved me!
I also had changed my work schedule so that there was less chance of interacting and it is part of my adjustment strategy. My worst times of the day are when I first wake up and the dinner hour. So my change of hours allows me more time in the morning to rattle around the house and I get home way past dinner time and go straight to down time. What got me this week was that he started to stay late as well.
My prior supervisor had looked into a move of my office but it got turned down - and now I have a new supervisor who wants to advocate again for a change of office to make my day a bit easier. Doubt it will happen but worth a try.
And BTW - I help people for a living which does help me to focus less on me and reminds that there are others much less fortunate but just as determined as myself. But having to confront my exh daily tends to remind me of why I need the distraction. And then when I get home and greeted with "things breaking down" at home and have to call yet another repair person or run to the store after a long day I just want to scream!
This is another issue - but it seems to me that ever since I have been alone the house is falling apart! I don't remember having to fix so many things or having to do very much at all. Now it seemed that I can't walk across a room without spilling or knocking something - or I somehow don't turn off the faucet completely leaving a drip or things just don't work the way they should and it turns into a mess. (One example - my son bought me a programmable coffee pot at Christmas - for months it all went fine. Then one morning I woke up to coffee on the counter and the floor and discovered I had forgotten to put the coffee strainer back into the pot. So I think ugh! another clean up but NO after the clean up I see the counter is now warped and stained!) It is these little/big things that remind me that I am alone so much.
Was wondering if these things bother others in a similar way? Are you doing more than you used to and does it remind you more of how alone you are? Does it seem that "more" is going wrong than right some of the time? Or am I just self pitying.
After a day of helping others, coming home to more problems of my own and little help to deal with them, I have little time to find other things to do to take my mind away.
