People have allready started to notice that I am becoming empowered to make good choices for me.
Tipper, this is wonderful
Originally Posted By: Tipper
However, I still dont feel too good about it all. I still feel devestated that I am going to end up either divorced or telling my H ( If he ever wants to return) that in order for him to do so he would have to find sobriety. Those are my two options and neither looks very good to me.
I would like to ask why?
Do you really want to live in the kind of M that you had?
I am not suggesting it was horrible, however, I know from experience that dealing with alcoholics isn't any fun.
I am also not suggesting walk away, but I am suggesting that you take more time to heal and gain your own strength without constantly worrying about him.
He will get help or he won't...
Personally, I don't believe it is worth the cost. Constant walking on eggshells, never knowing what you are coming home to, wondering if they are going to make it home alive, if the phone rings is it the police because they are in jail for DUI or worse?
Never mind the mood swings that you try to anticipate depending on just how drunk they are...
Waiting and praying for them to pass out...
Not to mention just the over all stress...
Aren't you worth more than that?
I will say that I experienced this with parents not my STBX, because that was something that I knew early on that I wouldn't ever live with again in my life...
It was a boundary for me before I knew what a boundary was, and it continues to this day to remain one...
For me, it is this simple, "I will not have a drunk in my life. It is not good for me."
It has nothing to do with anyone else. If they choose that way of life, then I choose to not be around them.
Tipper, it really is ok to not want to have that sort of drama in your life again. It is ok to set that boundary because it is what is best for you...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
