Saw things clearer once you're in my rearviewmiror

[OldFool]

...they'll chalk it up to some circumstance or such BS later on, they'll never link the two together. If it happens now at least they'll see why it didn't have to be this way.

I'm afraid I have to disagree. So close to the "error", most people will be unable to admit their mistake and, thus, learn from it. However, over time this feeling wanes and for some, the reality of the situation and their part in it becomes clear. Sure, there are those who will never allow that to happen (and in so doing, will condemn themselves to repeating the error), but this has more to do with the person than the timing.

As for interest in dating, honestly, it feels like such a chore to have to gather up the courage, act cool, approach a woman, play games...and then...they turn you down still. Then you pick up your deflated self and try yet again and again until one finally lets you in and then you end up settling for someone you may not have wanted. It's such crap lol So I don't feel like dating or at least going through that process myself.

Well, you've apparently gone a lot further into the pool than I have. Sorry to hear you've found the waters chilly. I could write a half-dozen paragraphs here, but suffice it to say that at this point, I just don't consider women to be worth the effort. I'm not arguing for broad adoption of that assessment, it's just the result of my own evaluation.

Unfortunately though I can't be man enough to say I don't have use for women lol women are wonderful creatures and I still believe if you're that lucky person to find one that was meant for you life can be so satisfying.

I completely agree. The only difference between us is that you think that woman exists and I don't believe she does.

On that note I'll agree with EverHopeful and hope that the HOT and Happy woman comes your way and knocks your socks off too.

Thanks...but I'm neither looking nor holding my breath (see above).

I'm having a tough time accepting this d*ck in my daughter's life. Today we were outside playing, she bent down to pick up something and I bumped her on my butt. She laughed and said 'daddy, that's what D*ck does to me sometimes, he's so funny'...gaaaah!!!!

OK...you've got to stop and get a grip. There are going to be other men in your ex's life and, as a result, in your D's life. Likewise, there may be other women in your life and, as a result, in your D's life. That's just how it is and there is simply nothing that you can (or should) do about it.

It's easy to think that, just as your ex is doing, your D will replace you with another. But that's not how it works. The dynamic between two partners and between a parent and child is not the same. True, your D may love you or hate you, but either way, no one else will ever be her father...that's yours alone. The important thing is to be a good father (as others have suggested) and part of doing that is going to be learning how to handle this situation.

I'm not upset about her screwing these men, I'm upset about her bringing these men around our daughter who's only six! Typical worst case scenario a woman can be mean to a kid. Typical worst case scenario of a man and given her choices...I don't even want to think about it. The only redeeming factor is perhaps that he too has a daughter from what I understand. Two, she lives in a studio apt. So my daughter sees and hears everything, whatever it is that goes on. What kind of role model does that create for my daughter to see her mother in bed with other men.

I know you guys are right I can only control myself but since it affects my daughter I'm very upset.

Wow, you are crossing some kind of line here which means...yes, that's right folks...it's 2x4 time.

1. You're just this side of claiming the guy is some kind of pedophile, but without a lick of information to back that up. This wild supposition is only hurting you. What if you had your poker buddies over (OK...I don't know if you play poker, but it's just an example) and your STBXW told her friends, "Go- only knows what those friends of his do to D when he's not looking!" You'd be incensed. Stick to the facts.

2. Time to shed the whole "I'm indignant because I'm protecting my daughter" thing. Not that you don't care about your D and not that your ex isn't displaying some rather shallow and self-centered behavior, but you and I both know this has a lot less to do with your D and a lot more to do with you. In the absence of any real indication that your D is being put in some kind of emotional (beyond what she's been put through already by the big D) or physical danger, this protection thing is just a nice cover for your own anger at the situation and your ex.

3. "What kind of role model does that create for my daughter to see her mother in bed with other men?" The same kind she may have already seen on TV and will soon hear about at school. I'm not saying that's good and she may be exposed to it a bit sooner than others, but if you're really going to shield your D from bad role models, your crusade is a lot bigger than you may realize.

I just wonder sometimes that when she grows up she will never know these day to day battles I've fought with myself to keep her protected. I wonder if she'll grow up to see her mom as the better parent as most daughters of divorced families do. Then when we came inside and I told her to go get ready for bed she said 'daddy, I love you. I'm going to miss you next week'.

I think you've answered your own question. Leave the rest alone and focus on that. Your time and effort will be better spent...trust me. MLT is absolutely right, "Kids are astute. They notice a lot." Don't worry about showing your D anything...just let her see it for herself. In the end, that will be enough.

Peace and serenity to you.