I expressed how the anger and her cold attitude was effecting me. I have been trying to stay positive and friendly, but my W has told me in the past that she finds it fake. I told my W that my behaviors towards her are nothing but genuine. She said that my friendly nature makes her uncomfortable, because we are not friends right now. She moved out, and we are separated. She feels that by her being friendly would give me some kind of false hope. We have to see each other everyday due to our custody with our S, but she wants to keep the exchange impersonal. She said that when I ask personal questions about her or ask if she wants to stick around for a bit for the baby's bedtime routine, it makes her uncomfortable. She said that it has gotten to a point that she wants to get in and out to avoid any questions.
Boy, sparks, I know all this plenty well. The only thing I can tell you is to go dark & GAL like never before. When I "have it together," things really begin to change. However, do it for yourself first to give you some space and to get away from it for a while - gather some clarity. Second, do it as a 180 for all the things she said as quoted above. Third, do it to put yourself in a better place, as once this happens, she'll notice and thing may begin to change.
It happened in my sitch. Once my WAW began to see I didn't need her around anymore and that I was moving on, things changed rapidly - put her in the position of pursuit, which is way better than you being in a position to beg. You must get your strength back, as a man, a husband, and a father.
I love it when my WAW tells me she doesn't want to say or do things as it will give me "false hope." Since when does she give a damn about me? She's the one that left isn't she? Funny how they are so "caring."
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson
M: 45 WAW: 36 T: 17 M: 14 Kids: D9 ILYBNILWY: 6/2010 W left: 2/2011 W back: 2/2012
Sparks, cut yourself some slack - in just a few weeks you had an anniversary, 2 birthdays, and mothers/father's day? It's like the winter holiday season all over again for you, isn't it? Of course you're going to feel really down and tired and sad about all those milestones passing. I think sometimes just getting validation helps and I am telling you here and now, it's ok to feel low. Father's Day (happy father's day!) is tomorrow, I'd look at it as turning a corner. You have an adorable, healthy baby. You're a nice, fun person. Life's going to be good. You just have to get there and enjoy the bumps as best you can.
Is she even still pushing for custody changes at this point? Rushing away at hand off time? Giving you weird vibes? She might be seeing someone or have figured out something she's not ready to tell you. I could be wrong, but either way you need some space and a break. The person she is now won't make you happy - she can't even make herself happy.
My advice is to get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. Schedule things to do with other people as regularly as you can. Check your local hs or community college for free or cheap classes. Go to stuff like free lowe's/home depot workshops, library story hour w/son, free summer movies and concerts w/friends or fam. Keep the yard and house and car nice/clean so you feel good being in those places. You also need to start. Learning new things - you'll have a toddler in no time. He'll want to know what the bird's names are and what's in that food and what kind of plant/tree/animal that is. you'll be a great dad - you celebrate that tomorrow and get yourself some peace of mind. (And may I suggest a foot massage? Pretty cheap around here and would be super relaxing)
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
you'll be a great dad - you celebrate that tomorrow and get yourself some peace of mind. (And may I suggest a foot massage? Pretty cheap around here and would be super relaxing)