The thing I 'don't' see here, is what might be HER perspective of YOUR contribution to the marriage not being very appealing to her. The only thing I see is that she felt suffocated. What might you do to contribute to that?
When you read DR, you will see that DBing is all about changing YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR in order to change your wife's. The idea is that relationships are created by your interactions, which are behaviors. These interactions are cyclical, it really doesn't matter who 'started it'. You can, will, change your spouse's behavior when you change your own.
I'm seeing quite a few things in the book that I like. I'm about 50 pages into the book so far and there is quite a few things that really ring true like how the silver screen portrays marriage and divorce. How friends biased opinions are self serving. I had told my wife before that friends only hear one side of the story but never really thought that it as self serving. That's actually pretty true. One interesting question she asks about 50% of marriages failing is that 50% of them succeed. My wife actually brought that up on Monday and I didn't even think about the other half. So I hope in reading this that I will be able to figure out what I've done wrong. I've been focusing on trying to figure out her that I haven't thought as much as I probably should be on what I could do differently.
