Not much to report on my end today. Guess no news is good news huh. I have backed way off, not emailing her at all. I only text her if it is reference to the kids. I keep the convo. short and to the point no R talk. Getting more accomplished around the house.
I feel like on some level, that I have gone dark. Well as dark as one can go while living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed. That is still the hard part, going to bed at night. I understand how difficult it must be now sharing a bed with the one has betrayed you in the worst of ways. She truely is strong to be dealing with this so calmly. But she will barely acknowledge me at this time even when we have been talking all night about different things. I wonder if thats when it hits hardest? I dont ask for obvious reasons. She has asked me to go with her a few places this weekend and asked to attend my friends wedding. So, I cant help but to be really pleased where we are in this thing. Time & Space.......I utter it to myself all day. Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Do you go to bed at the same time? are her actions different than in the past. Personally, I'd go to bed at different times That way you don't have to drive yourself crazy lying there.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
We do go to bed at the same time. Her actions are different right now I think mainly because of her feeling towards me right now. Which are completly understandable.
No news is good news, right?! Well I hope so......things have been pretty quiet around the house. She has been much more talkitive over the last few days. I have successfully avoided any R chat or mopeing around. I keep myself pretty busy in the evenings and I think she has noticed this. I continue to give her space, no emailing only text her when I have no other choice. Seems to have helped the tension level. Thanks all ......
hmmmmm, something strang. W has been very engaging, talkitive, friendly. She is gets just shy of effection and stops. Must have emailed me 10 times today. Not complaining by any stretch of the imagination. Just caught off guard a little bit. Not really sure how or what to do if anything. I have just been playing it cool and hanging back a little. Inside my heart is beating like crazy. This is certainly a good problem to have.
Ok, so the W went with me to an old friends wedding tonight. Was a good night but she was tired and distant. But I played it off like I didnt notice. She was kind of cranky to be honest, I just played with my kids at the reception and talked to old friends. When food service was announced she did not want to wait in line so I took the kids and got them food and made her a plate as well as one for me. I brought it to her...told her that I knew she was hungry since we had been together all day and I remember it had been a while since we ate. She thanked me and became a little more friendly.
The part I am kinda struggling with is this....when we got home we were laying bed watching a movie. She looks over and ask if I told my friends what was going on between us? I responeded "no" because I hadnt didnt think it was any of there business. Anyway She was like "Oh, just curious if they knew what was going on". So I ask what is going on....she says I dont know, I havent made my mind up yet. I say well I have been working on not bothering you so much, I hope that helps you some. She says yes it does. Wasnt a horrible thing but still frustrating as he!l. I know I still have a long way to go on the DB trail but was feeling like I had been making progress....or at least more progress than I have actually made.
I am doing well actually.......at least I given the outward indication that I am fine. Really just trying to hang in there. Tonight I seem to be invisiable.
Sorry wasnt able to finish my post yesterday. Seems like the Rollercoster is back. The W has been very distant and very little converstation going on. Monday and most of Tuesday she was emailing me like crazy. Then Tuesday afternoon is tapered off then tuesday night barely spoke to me. Today not a peep, and I havent emailed her or called her. Which has been very hard to do. Mainly because work has been very slow and I am just sitting at desk looking at my PC monitor. Ugh, torture. Anyway I have continued the stance of not bugging her, or following her around the house. Working on GAL, went out the week before with some friends. I was supposed to go to a movie Friday night with some friends but they cant make it now. The W doesnt know that, so I think I am just going to go alone.
