My old thread got locked prematurely again. I would link my most recent old ones, but still don't know how.
In response to comments regarding STBX paying child support made by Friday on my previous thread:
STBX seems to want me to keep the house and pay her out. I told her the only way I can do that is if she continues to pay me the $1000 a month she have been since she moved out in December of 2009. D19 is in university and S17 will hopefully be going to post secondary school next year, so support at their ages isn't unheard of. If support was based on her income, she said a few days ago that it would be just over $1000 per month. I believe she has 2 main concerns - not looking like the "bad guy" and making sure kids stay with me. I think she is concerned that at least one of them would want to live with her if I sold the house. That would really cramp her style and live with OM/Boss. She claims that the kids told her they won't stay with me if I sell the house. That might just be a threat, but even if it is, that is further indication of her fear of having them with her. I also believe she doesn't want them to have a lower lifestyle than she does - and hers is pretty awesome.
There are memories in this house, but it no longer feels like we live in a shrine to her. I don't even have trouble sleeping in "our" bed in "our" room anymore. I would actually prefer to stay here for at least a couple years. The house and neighborhood are awesome. Of course, I won't let STBX know that. I will make it look like I am just doing it for the kids and to make things easier on everyone else.
I'm not sure what to do about her birthday. It would be a real 180 for me to not buy a card etc. I will really have to think about it. Recognizing it won't mean a thing to her when she is dining out and then in bed with OM that night, so ignoring it may be the right choice. I'm sure she expects me to do something emotional and sappy.
I will take Friday's advice and not include any comments about my feelings regarding our divorce in my email detailing my financial requests to buy her out and divorce. That should remain pure business.
Any advice on the birthday and 23rd anniversary of us meeting from the folks who have been following my saga for the last couple years?
On a side note - So many new posters today. Makes me sad to see a bunch of newbies just starting out on this journey. I hope they listen much better than I did when I still had a chance.
