Did it sting? Darn tootin' it did ... that's what I'm sayin'. I thought I was really listening, and hearing, what BF was saying to me. Turns out that's NOT how he feels. So I have more work to do, because no, when I sit down and think about it I'm probably guilty sometimes of exactly what you describe.
Fully gotten to know this person? It's been 3 mos! That's what we're doing - dating, getting to know each other, and exploring how we relate. Fear? Driving decisions? How so?
Feeling better than him? Ummm, no. I'm probably guilty of feeling like I'm more experienced in some areas, I've caught myself using our age difference as an excuse for that in my own head a few times. But superior to him? No.
Does he have demon's? Presumably. Know anybody who doesn't? Will I be there? Well, that's the plan as it stands right now, but I'm not looking too far into the future at this point. If I learned anything in the last few years it's that anything can happen. I'm trying to learn to be more present in today.
Ok, your last question (which by the way was 3 questions!):
The fact that we are having some issues tells me a couple of things:
1. I've still got work to do (and I don't just mean in the general "we'll all have work to do forever" sense, I mean right now, demon slaying work.)
2. I'm not wearing rose colored glasses when it comes to the R. I want to be real and honest and not get caught in the trap where I overlook all the bad and only see the good. I learned about unconditional love and acceptance and I strive to be true to that.
I am trying to know myself better, that much I'm sure of. Am I trying to save the relationship? Save it? It's early to call it that I think.
I thought about this last night actually, and most of us find DB very late in the game. This time I have a chance to apply what I've learned (and am obviously still learning) at a different point in time. Preemptively so to speak. What's that saying about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure?
Does that mean that we're going to be together forever? Or that I'll even want to be with him as we move forward and get to know each other even better? Or that he'll want to be with me for that matter . Not necessarily. But I want the best foundation possible, for me ... and maybe for us.
~ Bell
It is never too late to be who you might have been. ~George Eliot
. Not necessarily. But I want the best foundation possible, for me ... and maybe for us.